Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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