this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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