He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize