he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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