i just google imaged poop.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
