my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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