They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
