Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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