I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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