was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
