She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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