I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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