Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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