Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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