suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
