My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
