but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
