Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
