i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
