I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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