Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize