you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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