Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
