we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
