In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
