dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wish i was in the wii world.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
