New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
