Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
