Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
