im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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