We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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