Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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