Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Reggie can tackle my bush.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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