Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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