1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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