Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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