I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
