another moral hangover. fuck.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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