My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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