For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
