at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize