Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
