Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i out mim tonsoeep
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize