just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize