Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
