You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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