Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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