Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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