whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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