My nipple is on Facebook.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
