You really coming over, don't trick.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
