I puked a lego.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
