I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
