She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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