I think my vagina is haunted
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
