I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
