Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do herpes really smell.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
