I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
