just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
