whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
