I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
