why didn't you poke me back
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize