when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
