She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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