i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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