The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
