i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I love you.
Bad choice
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