just come out here and I will go home with you...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I looked at my own cervix.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
