i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
