You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
