My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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