Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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