it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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