actually, I'm a sock model
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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