I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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