I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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