oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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