I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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