Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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